Some days, playing with your food isn’t enough. Show the love. Show the pride. Show the world your arteries are hard as wrought iron and just as uncannily beautiful.

Bacon Costume

Feel the lust radiating off complete strangers as you present them with more meat than they can handle in a lifetime.

Bacon Tux

Who needs the alleged Fabric Of Our Lives when you can have the look, the smell, the very sensation of your entire body wrapped in warm, delicious Bacon? Anything can mimic the look, but only classy space age vinyl technology could so perfectly capture the scent of fresh sizzling pork. The ladies can’t resist.

Bacon Scarf

If the Tux is too dressy, you can still show your meaty pride by wrapping yourself in a single slice of bacon larger than an entire pig.

Bacon Bracelet

Some days, the man can’t stop keeping you down. You can’t wear your nose ring to work at the magnet factory. You can’t wear your leather jacket to work at the Morningstar Farms plant. You can’t wear your Star Fleet Uniform to a job interview with the Marines. Screw them. Go ahead and wear your bacon bracelet with pride. The rabbi interviewing you for that new job at the JCC probably won’t even know what it is.

Bacon Pin

Bacon loves me this I know
Cause the Bacon tells me so
It’s so smiling and so neat
Bacon’s what I love to eat

It’s frisky. It’s friendly. It wants to nestle into the comforting warmth of your belly more than an Alien chestburster. Don’t fear the round eyes or frightening mouth nearly the width of this bacon’s head. It’s your friend. Bacon would never hurt you.